"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize