why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize