New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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