He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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