Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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