You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize