i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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