i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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