You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
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I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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