i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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