I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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