Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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