this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize