i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize