I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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