she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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