Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I lost the right to judge tonight
COCAINE IS GR8
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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