i permit you to call me
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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