Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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