So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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