You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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