The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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