also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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