if you like me you must not know who I am
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
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Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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