He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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