can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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