You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize