My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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