walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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