once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize