i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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