so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
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I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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