your parents love me but you hate me
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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