Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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