garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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