Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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