Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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