i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize