I can text with my tongue
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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