Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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