I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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