Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
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Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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