I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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