do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize