Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.

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  (304): I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did. http://tfl.nu/mi39
  Replies (6) Good night (3345) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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  (757): i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work http://tfl.nu/0keb
  Replies (20) Good night (5001) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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  (949): even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that http://tfl.nu/ftma
  Replies (29) Good night (510) Bad night (4347) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.

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  (910): We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works. http://tfl.nu/uib3
  Replies (45) Good night (5646) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep

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  (647): You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep http://tfl.nu/2p4s
  Replies (17) Good night (5506) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.

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  (610): It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/4je9
  Replies (9) Good night (2953) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to

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  (206): It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to http://tfl.nu/3nm2
  Replies (9) Good night (4889) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.

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  (617): did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now. http://tfl.nu/raep
  Replies (4) Good night (1482) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

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  (715): There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this. http://tfl.nu/w1ne
  Replies (8) Good night (3210) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.

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  (202): Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood. http://tfl.nu/hors
  Replies (2) Good night (1870) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.

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  (701): Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore. http://tfl.nu/9hf8
  Replies (5) Good night (1746) Bad night (491)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..

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  (812): after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married.. http://tfl.nu/qc9h
  Replies (14) Good night (654) Bad night (2176) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.

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  (360): So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace. http://tfl.nu/c8hs
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!

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  (276): Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?! http://tfl.nu/n7jl
  Replies (4) Good night (211) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.

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  (716): nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart. http://tfl.nu/xzee
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (131) Order T-Shirt

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