I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I cockslap morals
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize