So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize