The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize