i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize