and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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