i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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