I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize