I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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